I know some things. I know some very important things. But then again, of course there's a lot of things I don't know. So I've decided to compile a minor list. Of course there are things on this list that don't really matter, and of course there're things not on this list that DO matter (and that you can assume I know- like how to breathe). So anyway, without further ado (or lack thereof):1. I DON'T know what I want to do with my life other than serve Christ. I have no idea what I want to major in, what field I want to work in. I don't even know if I want to continue at the same university or not, but that remains to be decided semi-shortly.
2. I know what I want from life (in the general sense. Otherwise see No 1.). I want to serve Christ. I don't want to waste it. And I want to be a priority to someone. Whether that comes first in the form of a husband, a best friend, or a mentor, I care not. I just want to be someone's priority. Other than Mom's of course. She doesn't count.
3. I know what I want from my husband. I want him to be a Man of God, basically. I will never be afraid of an affair, because there will never be a need for one. There will never be trust issues for me, and I hope to prove to him that he can trust me too. We'll talk, about anything and everything, but be comfortable enough with each other for silence. I want to be friends first, but be so incredibly in love that I'm tunnel-visioned. (However, PLEASE see #4. Oh, and see #10 while you're at it).4. I know what my priorities are. They are (in order, of course):
--God
--Husband
--Then kids, if it happens (see #5)
--Then everything else. :)
5. I DON'T know if I want to have kids. I don't know. I just don't, and I don't know how else to explain it. I have time to decide that, so I'm not worried. Oh, and don't forget the teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeny-tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny little fact of...oh wait, MY HUSBAND. Haha, it'll depend on his thoughts as well, obviously. And as for potentially depriving my mother of grandchildren, I DO have a brother, ya know, who has a FABULOUSLY WONDERFUL girlfriend who will be an amazing, inspiring, and beautiful wife and mother. So chill, okay? :)
6. I DO know I want my own place eventually, as is normal progress, but honestly haven't decided if I want roommates or not, although I'll probably end up with some if for no other reason than that it's cheaper (and that they're my friends, ha). :)
7. I know my priorities for the "moolah":
--Living during the coming year
--Apartment for the next year
--A DOG FOR AS SOON AS I CAN GET IT. I want a dog more than most things right now.
--A Nikon D70 or a Canon RebelXT... (freaking awesome cameras).
8. I DON'T know where I'll be this coming year. I know I keep freaking out and posting about this particular topic here, but it's sort of a large choice that must be made in the near future and I'm scared of it. If you know me at all well, you know that I hate making choices. Even stupid decisions take me at least several minutes. Like what to order at dinner for instance. Anyhow, decisions semi-scare me. I don't want to regret my decision. I'm all about not wasting my time. I know that I could make either decision work, but see #9. I want more.
9. I know I'm tired of simply existing. I
want more from life. I want to actually live. I want to feel. I want the rush of adrenaline, emotions, whatever. I don't want to be bored anymore, I want to feel like I'm leading "the exciting life," whatever that means. But at the same time, I get frustrated because I'm honestly terrified of risk. I talked with Pastor Ricardo (as dad liked to call him- Pastor Richard) the other day, and I want what he has. I want to be dangerous because I have nothing to lose. I want to be free to "risk it all" because I've got nothing to lose, or for that matter, nothing to risk.
10. I know what kind of relationship I'd like when it's time for me to have one. I know that there's no real definition other than a Godly one, but here's a short list of relationships that stand out to me that I'd like to emulate:-My brother Ted and Ashley Walker
-Larry and Jana
-Michael and Shea Scher
-Of course my Mom and Dad
-Pastor Richard and Tina
I figure I should explain myself and why I chose these particular relationships. First of all, I know these people, I am or have been around them a lot, whether it's currently or at some point in the past, and here is some of what I see in each of them:
-a definite love for Christ.
-priorities in order.
-these men (yes, my brother included ;) ) LOVE their girlfriends and wives so intensely and passionately and gently, and these women love their "significant others" just as deeply.
-these are some of the strongest women I think I've ever met. Some of them may be quiet and behind-the-scenes, but they are FAR from weak. They are strong, passionate, and beautiful women of God, who depend on their God to see them through, and I hope to someday be half of what they are. All of them.
-none of these marriages (or dating relationships, as the case may be) are perfect, but they are strong. There have been hardships in all, of all different sorts, but they lean on Christ to make it through, and it shows.
-but I think the biggest thing right now to me is that these marriages (and relationships) are based on Christ. These relationships are so very God-centered, and it's obvious that these men love their God more than their women, and these women love their God more than their men. And I want the very same thing. I want to be blinded to everything but God. I want to be blindsided when He brings the man I'm supposed to marry into my life, and when he gets here, I want us to grow together in Christ and in Christ's inexhaustible and perfect love. Just like I see in these relationships.
So I guess that's pretty much it for now. If I feel the need to update because I think of something else later, I will, but for right now these things are sort of on my mind. PLEASE comment and let me know what you think (especially since I added all those pretty pictures that I took JUST for you-- okay not really, I took them like two years ago;)). I really do love you all. Grace and Peace to you from God our father and the Lord Jesus Christ.|||111948110641845137|||Another loooong post- The List (updated Thursday night after Larry&Jana's house)...COMMENT.
Comments:
Hey there Heather. Good job on your test grade. I hope your doing well!!! Talk to you later. I think i am going to Jana's Friday, why don't you come over too. :) Love you,
Xylena.
Xylena.
hey beautiful! you are the absolute sweetest and i love you so much. hope the rest of your summer goes fantastically!!!
~ash
~ash
# posted by 
: 7:09 PM
: 7:09 PM
Hey Heather. That was awesome, yes their relationships are awesome but only because God is there main focus. That's what i desire for my future mate as well (and me). :) I love the way the Russells and the Gross's have God as their main priority and not themselves.
Love you...See you Sunday if not sooner. :) You better post on mine now. j/k.
Love you...See you Sunday if not sooner. :) You better post on mine now. j/k.
Oh, just some emotional drama i like to throw in there sometimes. I wont stop, that is just what i was thinking at that moment. Stupid i know. :)
Heather,
I am actually leaving a comment. Mark this on your calendar!!! I wanted to add something to your priorities list. I get why you put them in the order that you did: God,husband,children,everything else... but in a way,if you just put God first and seek what he wants you do do in all the other areas, that can be a better perspective. There have been times in our marriage that it might not have seemed like our marriage was first because of ministry committments, but it was what was necessary to do at that particular time. Larry(and others) have often said that when God calls you(or your husband) to a ministry, He calls your entire family(even if it is only one of you doing the work of that ministry). Our support of our spouses is crucial for unity and the furtherance of
ministy. That being said, if you are totally neglecting your spouse and family- that is not cool!!
love you!
Jana
I am actually leaving a comment. Mark this on your calendar!!! I wanted to add something to your priorities list. I get why you put them in the order that you did: God,husband,children,everything else... but in a way,if you just put God first and seek what he wants you do do in all the other areas, that can be a better perspective. There have been times in our marriage that it might not have seemed like our marriage was first because of ministry committments, but it was what was necessary to do at that particular time. Larry(and others) have often said that when God calls you(or your husband) to a ministry, He calls your entire family(even if it is only one of you doing the work of that ministry). Our support of our spouses is crucial for unity and the furtherance of
ministy. That being said, if you are totally neglecting your spouse and family- that is not cool!!
love you!
Jana
# posted by : 8:14 AM
: 8:14 AM
Thank you, Jana! I love you hardcore and really respect your opinion. I'm super excited about getting to do stuff with the youth! Whooopeee! :)
MUAH!
-hp
MUAH!
-hp
Hey Heather,
You gave Larry a hard time about not blogging and it appears you are doing the same thing. What's up with that?
Love,
Tina
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You gave Larry a hard time about not blogging and it appears you are doing the same thing. What's up with that?
Love,
Tina
