Ok so in response to last night's rather incomprehensive postings, I never did find the time today to sit down and fix the stupid posts. So let's move right along, shall we?

I've come to a conclusion. When, at the end of the year, you feel like killing someone (maybe even yourself), you need a Granite Janet the Bandit with Magic Bodily Noises. I got one earlier this year, and let me tell you something: being friends with her has been the best investment I've made all year. She was ridiculously inexpensive, but she has stuck around ever since. The poor dear is unbreakable. No matter what I throw at her, she is always there for me to throw more. She is consistent, loyal, and beautiful. She takes what I dish out, absorbs it, and moves on.

So my only advice to you "out there" in internet land is this: get your own. Granite Janet the Bandit with Magic Bodily Noises is mine. But I wholeheartedly assure you: you need one. Who else would fart audibly while her friend is updating her blog and then spend 5 minutes with said friend laughing about it? She burps, farts, squeaks, and can flex her boobs. And I wouldn't have it any other way.