Notice the looks of abject horror on the faces of those watching?
Haha, that Bob. He's crazy. But he DID clear that stack by like 2 feet. :)
|||111579741789755985|||is there a way to return, is there a way to unlearn that common knowledge that's chipping away at my soul?
Haha, that Bob. He's crazy. But he DID clear that stack by like 2 feet. :)
My college career is 1/4 or 1/5 of the way finished. My college career is 1/4 or 1/5 of the way finished. My college career is 1/4 or 1/5 of the way finished. Wow. I can't believe it really is over. I realize that yeah, it's only my freshmen year, but seriously! It went by so fast. Why? Where did the time go? How much was spent on studying (not much), friends (meh, a little more once I found some, ha), family (not nearly enough) ..... God? Wow, that's rough. You guys "out there" ever done that? Sat down and figured out where all your time goes? I never have, I think it would be way too scary. Too convicting. I'd like to think that I subscribe to the Why Look Backwards? Theory, but in reality I think it's hogwash. No, I don't think we should live our lives by analyzing out past, that would be like driving by watching the rearview mirror. But I guess I think it should be a happy mixture of the two, because we obviously learn nothing about ourselves if we never learn from our mistakes. Hmmm. Where was I going with this? I don't remember. Oh well.
Anyway, I was thinking the other day about just how scared I am to be an Impact counselor this summer. I am vastly inadequate! I don't know enough! I'm not outgoing enough! I'm not confident enough! Heck, I'm not skinny enough! Yes, I know that last one is complete BUNK, but I had to throw it in anyway, because when I freak out, I freak out. Yes, I never could have even made it into Impact without God's help (it's a rather amazing story, actually), and it is obvious by said story that He wants me here, but it still doesn't silence the "What-Ifs" sometimes. What if they don't like me? What if I don't know what to say? What if I let them down? What if I do something wrong, make a mistake? What if Brad thinks I suck and doesn't want to be my friend? What if they think I'm a dork?
There are SO MANY "What-Ifs" it's staggering. But I've realized that no matter when or where in life you are, there will always be "What-Ifs" to make you stumble. Always, in every situation. There is always doubt. What makes the difference is when I look those "What-Ifs" in their ugly, impish faces, and yell at the top of my lungs, "I don't care! Those things you say "might" happen might actually happen, but I don't care! I am myself, Christ Jesus loves me that way, and you cannot touch me. You cannot and WILL NOT touch me!" Because what fun is there in being frozen with fear and "What-Ifs"?
Don't misunderstand me. I don't mean to say that it's a bed of roses, that you yell and they simply disintegrate. Sometimes I can yell and scream until I'm hoarse and they just laugh in my face. It's never easy. But with Christ's help I am able to overcome those pesky "What-Ifs." I'm not one to quote product jingles, but it's times like these when the Nike slogan really does come in handy: Just Do It. Look at those "What-Ifs" laughing in your face, and just do it anyway. I think you'll find that each time you do it gets easier.
So I guess the point I'm trying to make is this: I can be terrified of camp in August, but it doesn't matter. It's not like I'm going to quit. I'm too stubborn for that. If they don't like me, fine. I can only be myself. I've got nothing else. I'm a horrible actor. Also, I'm a Christian, but I'm so far from perfect it's not even funny. I make mistakes, and that's okay. What matters is owning up to them and fixing what I break. And about whether or not Brad thinks I suck? Well that's just dumb. We get along great, we're both very vocal and very honest, and he definitely doesn't hate me.
Oh, and I already know I'm a dork. I'll be the first to admit it. It makes life more fun. Like I said, I'm a horrible actor, but that's not a bad thing, my friends. Not bad at all. So banish those "What-Ifs" and have a little fun, okay?
Anyway, I was thinking the other day about just how scared I am to be an Impact counselor this summer. I am vastly inadequate! I don't know enough! I'm not outgoing enough! I'm not confident enough! Heck, I'm not skinny enough! Yes, I know that last one is complete BUNK, but I had to throw it in anyway, because when I freak out, I freak out. Yes, I never could have even made it into Impact without God's help (it's a rather amazing story, actually), and it is obvious by said story that He wants me here, but it still doesn't silence the "What-Ifs" sometimes. What if they don't like me? What if I don't know what to say? What if I let them down? What if I do something wrong, make a mistake? What if Brad thinks I suck and doesn't want to be my friend? What if they think I'm a dork?
There are SO MANY "What-Ifs" it's staggering. But I've realized that no matter when or where in life you are, there will always be "What-Ifs" to make you stumble. Always, in every situation. There is always doubt. What makes the difference is when I look those "What-Ifs" in their ugly, impish faces, and yell at the top of my lungs, "I don't care! Those things you say "might" happen might actually happen, but I don't care! I am myself, Christ Jesus loves me that way, and you cannot touch me. You cannot and WILL NOT touch me!" Because what fun is there in being frozen with fear and "What-Ifs"?
Don't misunderstand me. I don't mean to say that it's a bed of roses, that you yell and they simply disintegrate. Sometimes I can yell and scream until I'm hoarse and they just laugh in my face. It's never easy. But with Christ's help I am able to overcome those pesky "What-Ifs." I'm not one to quote product jingles, but it's times like these when the Nike slogan really does come in handy: Just Do It. Look at those "What-Ifs" laughing in your face, and just do it anyway. I think you'll find that each time you do it gets easier.
So I guess the point I'm trying to make is this: I can be terrified of camp in August, but it doesn't matter. It's not like I'm going to quit. I'm too stubborn for that. If they don't like me, fine. I can only be myself. I've got nothing else. I'm a horrible actor. Also, I'm a Christian, but I'm so far from perfect it's not even funny. I make mistakes, and that's okay. What matters is owning up to them and fixing what I break. And about whether or not Brad thinks I suck? Well that's just dumb. We get along great, we're both very vocal and very honest, and he definitely doesn't hate me.
Oh, and I already know I'm a dork. I'll be the first to admit it. It makes life more fun. Like I said, I'm a horrible actor, but that's not a bad thing, my friends. Not bad at all. So banish those "What-Ifs" and have a little fun, okay?
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